By Dale Szewczyk
First off, no one can tell you how to move on. Not even someone who has been where you are. No one will ever completely understand your pain a hundred-percent. No one has the right to tell you to get over your loss. Because there is no getting over your loss.
So, it has been years now, the vacancy of your family member or spouse still echos in the growing schism they left. You don’t know what to do with yourself. One thing you have going for yourself is that you’re a writer. Of course non-writers can use writing to heal as well. But for writers this is a skill that comes natural.
I’ve lost a family member to murder which has left a lasting scar on my family, a different pain than say a spouse. But I know to a point what it is like to have your life turned upside down and left there. I am a Christian, but whether or not you believe in God doesn’t change the fact that we people need advice that we can take away.
The person you lost is a part of you. I am not going for a New Age view, I mean that a part of their character is in you. By blood or by vows. They’re tied to you. As a writer, you can take this pain and write. Let that one who was taken from you be your permanent muse. Write for that person, and write for the person who can to a point understand your pain. Even if you write horror fiction. Write what you know will sooth the scar.
And speaking of scars, this scar will never leave, it is a beauty mark, a branding of that person on you. It will make you miss them more, but it is also a reminder that a part of that person is still with you. Still driving you forward. Let that scar become your muse that pulsates in your work and in your art.
No one makes your choices for you. You make your choices. You can make things a little better. You can feel alive again.
Feel free to add your self-help in the comments! Although I’d hope it wouldn’t be alcohol and drugs, because that stuff is not really helping. Only a faux fix.